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Elder Rage, or Take My Father... Please!: How to Survive Caring for Aging Parents

If you’re amongst the millions of baby boomers who is or wll be caring for an aging loved one, the Following  will prove to be an absolutely critical resource:
The Ultimate Caregiver’s Success System

Beyond Driving with DignityThe workbook for the families of older drivers

Knowing you are not alone
can be a great help

Stuck in the Middle: Shared Stories And Tips For Caregiving Your Elderly Parents

Could you use a guide that explains the Assisted Living maze?

Check out Ryan Malone's Book

The By Families, For Families Guide to Assisted Living: A Step-by-Step Guide to Evaluating and Transitioning to an Assisted Living Community

Carolyn Rosenblatt has authored this great series on senior issues.

The Boomer's Guide to Aging Parents: The Complete Guide

David Solie has authored this great book on geriatric and intergenerational communication:

How to Say It to Seniors: Closing the Communication Gap with Our Elders

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Family ... Relationships

Role Reversal: When Children Should Talk to Parents About Money

Courtesy of: Laura ArmstrongMorgan Stanley Smith Barney

As Baby Boomers grow older — and presumably wiser about economic matters — more are finding themselves in a position of caretaker for elderly parents. Raising the topic of money with parents can be difficult. But with the right choice of words, timing, and tone, you can open the door to a meaningful conversation.

Select a Representative. An initial conversation about finances should be done one-on-one. Involving too many people can be overwhelming and appear threatening. If you have siblings, select one — perhaps the oldest, most financially knowledgeable, or one with whom your parent(s) may feel most comfortable — to lead the way. Remember, this is about your parent's money, not about yours or your children's.

Be Sensitive. To some extent, our financial lives influence how we view ourselves as independent human beings. For many, old age is a time of coping with a series of physical and emotional losses: hearing, eyesight, mobility, memory, as well as friendships. With any conversation about money, be sensitive to the fears and concerns your parents may harbor about their possible loss of control or independence.

Break the Ice Skillfully. A subtle opening could involve an anecdotal story about a person you know in common, a news article found in the daily paper, or even about yourself.

  • I need help with my will. Who did you use?
  • How's Aunt Mary doing since Uncle Joe passed away?
  • Have you seen the new Social Security statements?
  • What was it like for your parents during the Great Depression?
  • Did you watch that TV special on hospitals last week?

Start Slowly. Don't commence a dialogue during a crisis situation or try to resolve all details in one meeting. Raise questions that your parents can consider for a follow-up conversation.

  • I'll stop by for coffee next week, and we can continue our talk. Maybe you'll have those papers by then?

Your parents may actually enjoy the attention. After several informal conversations, you may want to consider the help of a financial professional. For more information, contact the National Council on Aging (www.ncoa.org) and AARP (www.aarp.org).

For More Information

If you’d like to learn more, please contact Laura Armstrong, 908-626-8616, 

Branch Name: Morgan Stanley Smith Barney; Warren, NJ
Phone Number: 908-626-8616
Web Address: www.morganstanley.com/fa/armstrong

The author(s) and/or publication are neither employees of nor affiliated with Morgan Stanley Smith Barney LLC ("MSSB"). By providing this third party publication, we are not implying an affiliation, sponsorship, endorsement, approval, investigation, verification or monitoring by MSSB of any information contained in the publication.

The opinions expressed by the authors are solely their own and do not necessarily reflect those of MSSB. The information and data in the article or publication has been obtained from sources outside of MSSB and MSSB makes no representations or guarantees as to the accuracy or completeness of information or data from sources outside of MSSB. Neither the information provided nor any opinion expressed constitutes a solicitation by MSSB with respect to the purchase or sale of any security, investment, strategy or product that may be mentioned.

Article written by McGraw Hill and provided courtesy of Morgan Stanley Smith Barney Financial Advisor Laura Armstrong

Morgan Stanley Smith Barney LLC. Member SIPC.
© 2011 McGraw-Hill Financial Communications. All rights reserved. March 2011 (2011-PS-242)

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